12WBT 2012 Round 1 Week 10 is just around the corner. If you are new to the program you may be nervous, anxious and excited all at the same time as only 3 weeks stands between you and the end of the first 12 weeks that changed your life. If you are a returning member that has had previous success you may be determined and focused on smashing your goals in the next 3 weeks. If you are a returning member that is a bit disappointed about your previous results you may be doubting yourself and hoping you can get back on track and achieve better results before the end of this program.
Regardless of your feelings, not everyone will support your new lifestyle. The sooner you accept that, the easier your journey will be.
I had a great support crew in my family, close friends, my boss and mini comp teams rounds 2 & 3 2011. I blogged about my support crew in July 2011.
However some people that saw me everyday had no interest in what I was doing, and that is totally ok. YOU need to believe in yourself, it doesn't matter what others think of you... it really doesn't.
For example:
I LOVE Lady Gaga. Her music, her lyrics, how she thinks, her interviews, her outfits, etc… they all excite me. None of my friend or family like her. Does that mean I have to stop liking her?? No Way! She's my number 1 iTunes playlist because she makes me feel great :). She is of interest to me and I really enjoy her music. The opinions of others won't change that.
I never actually told the people that didn't show an interest in my new lifestyle about my achievements. I never mentioned how far I can run, how much weight I lost, that I bought my first bikini, how much I can lift, that I bought my first pair of knee high boots, my 12WBT awards, etc... I don't think they deserve to know. They never showed an interest when i was training like a crazy woman, or eating carrot sticks while they ate party pies. They never encouraged me so why share my achievements with them? I don't get any joy sharing my successes with them. Only the people that genuinely care about me got to share in my successes and that was mutually rewarding.
So when someone that have never shown an interest in your new lifestyle, or has criticised you, comes up to congratulate you on your achievements, how genuine can they really be? Do they actually deserve to share your joys? Hmmm... it's just something to think about.
The classic comment I received was from a lady at work that had never spoken to me in the 2 years I had worked there. I had lost about 40kg at the time and she came up to me and said "Have you stopped losing weight yet?!". I wanted to slap her. Instead I graciously said "yes I'm happy with my size now". And she replied "Good, you wouldn't want to lose anymore". I wanted to slap her again but instead I smiled :). This person knows nothing about me and had never spoken to me. Now, if I pass her in the corridor and she looks me up and down, I just smile. Maybe she is jealous? Maybe she doesn't like me? Maybe it's all in my head?!?! In the end I don't actually care as it is not my problem :)
Oh and I have recently been told that a couple of people at work feel uncomfortable around me since I lost weight, however I don't know the exact reason why. At first I cried as i don't want ANYONE to feel uncomfortable around me. Then I started thinking that this could do my head in as I used to analyse EVERYTHING. So I took a step back and calmed down. I am the best version of me ever. I don't share my active and healthy lifestyle with any of them. I don't comment on the food they eat. I don't call them lazy or judge them at all. I rarely talk to them unless it's work related. So I have decided to just let that one go as their insecurity is not my problem. If they give me some facts regarding what I do that makes them uncomfortable I am more than willing to address them. Until then I will continue being me :)
If you are the best version of you and you are happy, share it with those that you love as it may give you all that warm fuzzy feeling inside :) There will always be haters and they are not your problem.
"If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success" - Will Smith
It's been a month between posts and I am finally back. Thanks for reading :)
Well, as they say, there's none so queer as folk.... people can be funny in the way they respond to anyone's success. Amazing how your mindset has changed and how these types of people don't bother you in the same way. You continue to inspire many. x
ReplyDeleteThanks Janie. It has taken months for the opinion of others not to bother me however it is actually soooooooo much easier now (as weird as that sounds). I had my brain going nuts when I heard there were people at work uncomfortable around me. That was a real shock and I felt aweful even though I am really cautious not to "flaunt" the new me. I thought i was just normal at work and had no idea I was making others feel awkward. But at the end of the day, unless they can pinpoint to me exactly what I'm doing "wrong" it is out of my hands so I don't event think about it anymore. I just go on being me, minding my own business and eating my yum Mish food :)
DeleteHow is your Round 1 going? I remember you signed up for this round with a similar weight goal as mine. How are you finding things?
You have a good memory, Splash!! I am just loving this round and have already signed up for the next. I signed up to have yet another crack at losing weight - but not only am I losing weight, but I'm getting fit, writing a blog, meeting new friends and doing things I haven't done before (physical challenges mainly). Weight loss is almost a by product of being able to dream and work towards creating the life that i want. can't thank mish enough for her program. Will you do another round?
DeleteHi Janie :)
DeleteHow are you doing?
How have the last fours years of life been for you?
Splash
people can be so mean, if they have nothing nice to say then they should just keep their opinions to themselves! Im quite lucky because during the 12wbt Ive had a lot of support and lots of wonderful words from my friends, it gives me a huge self esteem boost, there was one person on FB though who said my 400 gm weight lost this week was good considering it was easter, I kinda took that to heart cos I didnt eat any chocolate except for two tiny bit sized eggs from my kids stash, it kinda made me feel like she was taking a dig at me, I dunno, but anyway, if people are gonna be bitchy then they should just shut up :)
ReplyDeleteHi Danni, that comment from the FB person about your weight loss being "good considering it was easter" was made with no knowledge of what you did this week and a whole lot of assumptions including assuming you stuffed your face with chocloate for 7 days.
DeleteSo why do we care what people say when they know nothing about us? It's easier said than done but trust me it feels so much better when you pay no attention to those silly comments.
And a 400g weight loss is tops! Easter or no easter that is a loss and I hope you are happy with it. I found weight loss is not a consistent thing no matter how consistent your exercise and nutrition is.
Here's a table of my weigh ins. I was soooooooo consistent with food and exercise for 9 months but the weekly weight loss wasn't as consistent.
http://splasharama.blogspot.com.au/p/weigh-ins.html
Hang in there Danni and all that really matters is what YOU think :) Keep up the great work!
thankyou Mary! I find you an awesome inspiration, I only had 10kg to lose and I only have 1.6kg to get to to my goal I know I can do it in the last 3 weeks :-) thankyou for being an inspiration to so many people xo
DeleteThat is fantastic Danni! 10kg in 12 weeks is a great goal. You have done an awesome job already so I hope you are really proud of yourself :)
DeleteAll the best for the last 3 weeks and enjoy living the 12WBT lifestyle beyond Round 1 2012.
Hi Dani :)
DeleteHow are you doing?
How have the last fours years of life been for you?
Splash
I dont know you but read you blog to remind myself that I can do it on my own.
ReplyDeleteAs a social worker who has worked in a toxic team previously, it annoys me that people feel they can judge others who are actually DOING instead of getting of their butts! Just becuase your at a different (and possibly higher) point of YOUR journey doesnt mean they have the right to bring you down!
The way I see it, the longest relatioonship I am going to have with anyone is myself. If others dont get it, then that certainly isnt my problem/issue!
So, from someone who doesnt know you, well done and just remember the only person who really matters on your journey is YOU.
I also read your blog, because you are so honest, which inspires me! Your emotional/mental transformation has been just as fascinating as your physical transformation.
ReplyDeleteWe don't know each other, but I am still celebrating your success, because your words have made me feel good about myself.
You're a champ!
Hi everyone that has commented previously :)
ReplyDeleteHow are you all doing?
How have the last fours years of life been for you?
Splash