Monday, November 11, 2013

Do What You Want

I had a lightbulb moment twelve hours after attending the Round 3 2013 finale party in Sydney. That moment was reinforced when I heard Lady Gaga perform her second single from her Artpop album called Do What You Want.

Let's rewind and recap the last three years of my life first.

  • Went from obese to the healthy weight range thanks to in 2011.
  • Diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis in November 2011. (
  • Improved muscle definition and strength with in 2012.
  • Diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) in October 2012.
  • Almost stopped exercising and gained weight.
  • Stopped working and exercising in July 2013 due to CFS.
  • Lost confidence and turned to food.

The 12WBT finale party was exactly what I needed to experience. I loved being reunited with the friends I made during five rounds of the program. They are such beautiful people and I felt the love with every hug and word that was exchanged.  I was so surprised that the Eventify staff remembered me by name from the two 12WBT workouts where I volunteered as their Water Crew Team Leader in 2012.  And, of course, it was lovely to be greeted by the 12WBT staff with huge smiles and "Hi Splash!"  I honestly can't believe these people remember me. I was ten kilos heavier ,looking like a big pink squishy marshmallow with diamant√© stilettos and being greeted with nothing but love.  Needless to say, 12WBT knows how to host a party and I had a fabulous night.

I woke up on Sunday feeling different to the last three months.  I was feeling empowered.  I'm not totally sure why but it must have had something to do with being in a room full of confident people the night before.  I remembered feeling confident.  That used to be me.  Can I be that again? Do I want that again? I do.

Ten minutes later and my iPad is welcoming me back to 12WBT.  The road to confidence starts tomorrow. I'm scared. But Splasharama do this.  I'm back for the mindset lessons. Everything starts in the mind and 12WBT is exactly what I need to bring me out of my three-month coma of self doubt and unhappiness.

Fast forward to The Graham Norton Show on Sunday night.  My favourite artist of all time opened the show with her latest single "Do What You Want".  I was almost crying yet so so happy watching her performance.  "Do what you want"... What do I want?  I want the old me back.  It will take longer than three months and that's ok.  Splash is back and I'm doing what I want.

Do What You Want - I want to treat food as fuel for my body, nothing more.
Do What You Want - I want to feel sexy wearing that tiny size 10 white Review dress hanging in my wardrobe again.
Do What You Want - I want my strong body (and my sexy muscles) back.
Do What You Want - I want to be healthy and genuinely happy.
Do What You Want - I want to beat CFS and return to work ASAP.
Do What You Want - I don't want to walk... I will strut!
Do What You Want - I will be confident.