Thursday, September 1, 2011

Why are you telling me what to do?

"Don't you want to eat the donut?"
"You should stop losing weight now."
"You are depriving yourself by not eating the cupcake."
"You don't need to lose anymore weight."
"Are you REALLY not tempted by chocolate??"

My responses are very gracious when I am attacked with the above statements and questions.  And on the inside I wonder "Why are you telling me what to do?".  I only listen to Mish and my sis these days!!

If my immediate family was to tell me I should stop losing weight, I would most likely listen to their reasons as they really know me and love me unconditionally.  But when someone that is an acquaintance tells me the statements and questions above… I can't understand why they are saying those things to me.  Are they trying to be nice?  Are they jealous?  Are they innocent comments?  Are they compliments?

I am 155cm short.
My heaviest weight was 109.6kg.
I have lost 37.3kg in 28 weeks.
I currently weigh 72.3kg.
I wear size 14 clothes.
My Body Mass Index (BMI) is approx 31.

A BMI of over 30 means that I am actually still Obese.  See details below from

What your BMI means
Once you have measured your BMI, you can determine your healthy weight range. If your BMI is:
  • Under 18 - you are very underweight and possibly malnourished.
  • Under 20 - you are underweight and could afford to gain a little weight.
  • 20 to 25 - you have a healthy weight range for young and middle-aged adults.
  • 26 to 30 - you are overweight
  • Over 30 - you are obese.

I need to weigh 60kg to have a BMI of 25.  That is 12kg away so how can people think I should stop losing weight??? 

My goal is to fit into all size 12 clothes.  I assume that is about 5kg away but I really don't know.  Once I get to a cute size 12, I will increase my strength training in order to improve muscle tone and strength.  Then I will reassess where I am at and maybe aim for a size 10 fit and strong body.

Now that I am a size 14, I am really happy and confident.  Maybe people are seeing that too and that is why they are telling me to stop losing weight?  I am A LOT smaller than I was 6 months ago so maybe that is why people are telling me to stop losing weight?  Maybe they think they are complimenting me by telling me to stop losing weight?  Why do they care about what I am doing?  I have so many questions that I just don't ask.

I have decided to stop analysing why I am getting these comments (if you know me you will realise that is REALLY HARD for me not to analyse things).  All it is doing is making me annoyed at people, and that isn't good for anyone.  So now I don't worry about why people say what they say.  I just smile and nod and brush it off gracefully lol.

The only thing that matters is what I think.  If I am the fittest I have ever been, the healthiest I have ever been, the most confident I have ever been, the strongest I have ever been…  that makes me happy and that is what matters.  And if I can pay it forward to my family and friends that have been struggling with their weight and confidence, then that is like gold to me - such a great feeling.

If you are happy with yourself, the opinion of others is irrelevant.


  1. I can so relate to this post. I'm just beginning or really continuing to lose weight and I realised when working out my goals this time that I need to work out some strategies for when I get to the point that you are at now because that's when I've given up in the past and ended up back at the starting line.

    I've been reading a whole heap of your posts since you started the blog and I've added yours to my blog list so I can keep up with yours.

    Really looking forward to seeing how your journey - lol I am over that word! - goes in Round 3 :)

    Vikki (IamVikki)

  2. Unfortunately there are always going to be people telling you what you should or shouldn't be doing. I'm struggling with that at the moment. Not because of my weight but in other aspects of my life. It's a horrible feeling thinking that you're always being judged, especially when it's based on your appearance. Sometimes it's about comparison. If you're saying that you still need to lose more weight then it may be a negative reflection on them and by saying that you don't need to lose any more, they're actually saying that they're fine just the way that THEY are... maybe the comments that you're receiving are meant more as a compliment but I can understand how exasperating it must be. Congratulations and keep up the good work... you know that it's all worth it! :)