Friday, July 27, 2012

Can you truly be happy?

This post follows along the same lines as my Just Be post. The main difference is that I didn't write it.

A fellow 12WBT member and friend is working so hard to bring her dream to life. It's Week 8 of 12 and her results are not what she envisaged. She has executed her plan almost perfectly and her results do not reflect that at all. She shared her story with her close friends (past and present 12WBT members). We all jumped to her rescue, as supportive friends do, even though we didn't have the answers.

One of our replies really shone bright and was like gold in my hands. I'm so glad to be able to share this with you all. It really puts things into perspective. At the end of the day, when are you truly going to be happy? What will it take to reach ultimate happiness? If you are unlucky enough to reach such a low point and just can't pull yourself out of it, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, read this & read
Just Be, because you deserve to appreciate yourself no matter what your stats say.

"WARNING*** I've written an essay! I've swallowed some pride in the hope that it helps... I hope I don't offend anyone.

From a different perspective - Have you thought about how you think you'll feel when you reach this goal after everything you've been through and sacrificed? Do you think it will make you a happier person? A healthier person? A better person?

I ask this because these were the questions I asked myself before I started the lean and strong last round. I came up with "No" for every question. I was already a size 8 and 51kgs and STILL I wasn't happy with that. I recognised that this wasn't healthy and my thinking, for what ever reason, was warped. I saw myself as bigger than I was. That's when I decided that I needed something else - different goals other than numbers and how I wanted to look. I set 3 aesthetic goals because I thought I had to. 66cm waist. 15% bf, visible abs so that I would wear a bikini in front of people at the beach. Then, I also had a whole heap of skill goals.

I reached all of these goals and I have to say that my skill goals, I was stoked about. I actually felt like I achieved something and that the struggle was worth while. My body 'look' goals I wasn't so happy about. I wasn't completely satisfied with a 66cm waist. It wasn't small enough. My body @ 15% wasn't what I expected and my abs were there but not THERE.

I was disappointed to the point where I wasn't going to do after pics because I wasn't 100% happy with them. Imagine that? I thought my size 6 body wasn't good enough for an after pic? I wouldn't even let my husband take the pic. I didn't even ask. I set the camera up on automatic and ran into position because I thought it wasn't enough. That I hadn't done enough.

Despite reaching my goals, if the body numbers were my only goal - I would have been disappointed in the outcome. But numbers weren't a focus for me. I knew I would never be completely 'happy' with my body from the start and that was exactly the outcome. I'm still not happy with my body but it's not a focus anymore. I have still never worn a bikini and I probably never will. It's also bloody hard for me to stay at 15% body fat, so I won't and I will never train 6 days a week to maintain it because I don't enjoy putting my body through that. So I don't.

So, anyway, along the way I have discovered that being a certain weight, a certain bf% or even having abs does not make me a happier, healthier or a better person than what I already am right now. I have enjoyed the journey, I have met some great people, made some wonderful friends and discovered so much about myself. I know how to live a healthy lifestyle and eat well and I do. I also have a pretty good body to show for it and so do you! So, what I suppose I'm trying to say is, just stop for a second. Really look at how far you've come and perhaps work on some other goals that don't focus simply on your body looking a certain way because from my perspective at least - when you get there - it's not as good as you imagine it to be..."

Thank you to my lovely friend for allowing me to share her wise words and story with you all.

No matter where you are in your journey, appreciate your achievements now.  Celebrate the little successes by jumping up and down like a school girl now.  Waiting to the end when you reach your ultimate goal may not actually give you that unbelievable warm fuzzy feeling you had hoped for.  You matter now.  Squee now!


  1. thanks for sharing that, Splash. We only have this moment, so we need to live it, enjoy it and not postpone our happiness for some other arbitrary time. So true. thank you.

  2. Please pass on more thanks to your friend Mary. So often you feel you are the only one having certain thoughts, and it is very comforting to know you are not alone. I hope your friend continues to remind herself how wonderful she is and that she deserves to be happy.