Sunday, July 29, 2012

Mentoring Sarah - Week 8 Questionnaire

Week 8 Questionnaire

1. Total weight loss in first 8 weeks

2. Goals update. How you are tracking? 
I've lost a total of31.5cm!!  4kg away from being at 75kg, wanting to achieve this in the final weeks of this round 3. Biggest lightbulb moment where something finally just made sense a couple of weeks ago it clicked to me that this is not just a 12 week challenge...this is for life, and that I still need to 'live'.  That a loss is a loss and that it's not just about numbers, it's about how I feel not only physically but mentally too!

4. Lowest point emotionally & why.
Not applicable

5. Your most squee-worthy, jumping around the house in excitement moment.
Getting under 80kgs, out of the 'obese' BMI category and into the 'overweight' and fitting a pair of size 12 pants - all in the same week!!

6. Favourite exercise.
At the moment I am loving pump classes.

7. Do you prefer to train solo, with a buddy, with your PT or with a group?
Group training is definitely my thing - with Erin of course :-) 

8.Most calories burnt in one training session and describe the training session.
Approximately 2000 calories - at a mega launch class at TRAC

9. Did you stray from the program and why?
I have been consistent with my exercise.  Diet wise I have 'strayed' occasionally.  I keep myself accountable by always writing it down.  Life happens!

10. Favourite 12WBT meal
Jen's Lasagne

11. How are you finding the program overall?
It has been fantastic, I have learnt the importance of calories in vs calories out.  I have improved my fitness like never before and I am making better food choices! Nothing has worked fr me in the past....this works!

12. Best advice that 12WBT has given you that you have implemented.
Just frickin do it.  If I didn't go into 'robot mode' I don't think I would get as much work done at the gym.  No excuses.

13. Do you have any advice for someone that has 10-20kg to lose, is thinking about joining the 12WBT program but hesitant due to past weight loss attempts that haven't worked?
The only thing constant is time.  The next 12 weeks of your life is going to happen - wether you do 12wbt or not...Just give it a shot & you will surprise yourself! If I can do this, so can you!

Mentoring Erin - Week 8 Questionnaire

Week 8 Questionnaire

1. Total weight loss in first 8 weeks. 7.5 kg 

2. Goals update. How you are tracking? In terms of kg loss I am half way to what I wanted to lose in the 12 weeks.  With 4 weeks to go, i believe another 7.5kg is a big task.  I know that I could have achieved it if I hadn't lost focus for a few weeks. 
3. Biggest light bulb moment where something finally just made sense. Just because I have one good week doesn't mean that the weight will continue coming off me the following week unless I continue to eat clean and train hard
4. Lowest point emotionally & why For 3 weeks the weight wasn't moving.  I wasn't training hard but no movement in the scales.  Very disheartening.  Finally admitted to my fiance that I was allowing "Luther" to win and old habits to come back.   

5. Your most squee-worthy, jumping around the house in excitement moment. My first week where I lost 2.8kg was the first squee.  But measurements at week 4 to have 24 cms gone and 30 seconds off my time trail was even bigger.  To date I am yet to beat that 

6. Favourite exercise. I love all the classes I do - RPM, BodyStep, BodyPump, BodyCombat and BodyAttack.  

7. Do you prefer to train solo, with a buddy, with your PT or with a group? I like training with Sarah or myself.  I don't mind a group workout but I know that Sarah and myself are similar in fitness and competitiveness.  So we work off each other and end up getting a fantastic workout.  

8. Most calories burnt in one training session and describe the training session. I partook in a Les Mills launch of the new tracks.  Burned 2221 calories with 30min Attack,30min Pump, 30min Step,  30 RPM, 1hr Zumba and 1hr Yoga.  

9. Did you stray from the program and why? Week 3-5 were my bad weeks.  I wanted results but didn't want to do the hard work.  I was surrendering to Luther and eating badly (without people knowing - which is one of my excuses "what people don't know I eat doesn't count" etc).  I am not sure why I gave up so easily.  I think I got complacent after 2 great weeks of results and then got sick of being so organised with the food.  I felt like all I did was go to the gym and prepare food.  Spending relaxing time with my partner was getting less and less (or so I felt).  

10. Favourite 12WBT meal. I have enjoyed most of the foods.  Some outstanding ones so far are Jen's lasagna, Mexican shepherd pie, Sam's Chinese Chicken Dumplings, Yoghurt with Berry Compote.  The list could go on.   

11. How are you finding the program overall? The principles of the program are fantastic and I can see the benefits they can have on the participants.  The videos Michelle uploads are perfect advice and exactly what I need to hear and what tools I need to implement to make my new lifestyle work.  However the bridge between listening and understanding and then acting on them is sometimes a little difficult to get across.  My mentality to the new lifestyle and breaking of bad habits and letting it go once and for all is getting stronger and I feel that by the time round 3 2012 (my round 2) starts my Luther will be weaker and my resolve will be in its element of control and strength.  

12. Best advice that 12WBT has given you that you have implemented. Not so much advice but an attitude adjustment.  Attitude to my life and my health.   

13. Do you have any advice for someone that has 10-20kg to lose, is thinking about joining the 12WBT program but hesitant due to past weight loss attempts that haven't worked? Really pay attention to pre season tasks.  Really put your heart and soul into the tasks because they are the foundation of the journey I am now walking on

Friday, July 27, 2012

Can you truly be happy?

This post follows along the same lines as my Just Be post. The main difference is that I didn't write it.

A fellow 12WBT member and friend is working so hard to bring her dream to life. It's Week 8 of 12 and her results are not what she envisaged. She has executed her plan almost perfectly and her results do not reflect that at all. She shared her story with her close friends (past and present 12WBT members). We all jumped to her rescue, as supportive friends do, even though we didn't have the answers.

One of our replies really shone bright and was like gold in my hands. I'm so glad to be able to share this with you all. It really puts things into perspective. At the end of the day, when are you truly going to be happy? What will it take to reach ultimate happiness? If you are unlucky enough to reach such a low point and just can't pull yourself out of it, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, read this & read
Just Be, because you deserve to appreciate yourself no matter what your stats say.

"WARNING*** I've written an essay! I've swallowed some pride in the hope that it helps... I hope I don't offend anyone.

From a different perspective - Have you thought about how you think you'll feel when you reach this goal after everything you've been through and sacrificed? Do you think it will make you a happier person? A healthier person? A better person?

I ask this because these were the questions I asked myself before I started the lean and strong last round. I came up with "No" for every question. I was already a size 8 and 51kgs and STILL I wasn't happy with that. I recognised that this wasn't healthy and my thinking, for what ever reason, was warped. I saw myself as bigger than I was. That's when I decided that I needed something else - different goals other than numbers and how I wanted to look. I set 3 aesthetic goals because I thought I had to. 66cm waist. 15% bf, visible abs so that I would wear a bikini in front of people at the beach. Then, I also had a whole heap of skill goals.

I reached all of these goals and I have to say that my skill goals, I was stoked about. I actually felt like I achieved something and that the struggle was worth while. My body 'look' goals I wasn't so happy about. I wasn't completely satisfied with a 66cm waist. It wasn't small enough. My body @ 15% wasn't what I expected and my abs were there but not THERE.

I was disappointed to the point where I wasn't going to do after pics because I wasn't 100% happy with them. Imagine that? I thought my size 6 body wasn't good enough for an after pic? I wouldn't even let my husband take the pic. I didn't even ask. I set the camera up on automatic and ran into position because I thought it wasn't enough. That I hadn't done enough.

Despite reaching my goals, if the body numbers were my only goal - I would have been disappointed in the outcome. But numbers weren't a focus for me. I knew I would never be completely 'happy' with my body from the start and that was exactly the outcome. I'm still not happy with my body but it's not a focus anymore. I have still never worn a bikini and I probably never will. It's also bloody hard for me to stay at 15% body fat, so I won't and I will never train 6 days a week to maintain it because I don't enjoy putting my body through that. So I don't.

So, anyway, along the way I have discovered that being a certain weight, a certain bf% or even having abs does not make me a happier, healthier or a better person than what I already am right now. I have enjoyed the journey, I have met some great people, made some wonderful friends and discovered so much about myself. I know how to live a healthy lifestyle and eat well and I do. I also have a pretty good body to show for it and so do you! So, what I suppose I'm trying to say is, just stop for a second. Really look at how far you've come and perhaps work on some other goals that don't focus simply on your body looking a certain way because from my perspective at least - when you get there - it's not as good as you imagine it to be..."

Thank you to my lovely friend for allowing me to share her wise words and story with you all.

No matter where you are in your journey, appreciate your achievements now.  Celebrate the little successes by jumping up and down like a school girl now.  Waiting to the end when you reach your ultimate goal may not actually give you that unbelievable warm fuzzy feeling you had hoped for.  You matter now.  Squee now!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Just Be

The Michelle Bridges 12WBT gave me the title of Top Transformation in Round 2 2011.  I wasn't at all prepared for that & although it is still an absolute honour, it's also a challenging title to live up to.

My friend had seen me go through this huge change and also seen the down side.  This post is because of him.  I want to thank him for helping me realise that I don't have to be super woman.  He knew me from before my 12WBT transformation. His simple words of "Just Be" on Sunday 8 July 2012 have hit home with me (thank goodness!!!). It's more than ok for me to Just Be rather than continually strive for something that most likely won't make me happy. 

A huge thanks also goes to my Pirate training buddies for their support and sharing their personal information with me for this post.

All my life I just wanted to be normal. To fit into normal clothes, to do normal things and to be accepted by others as normal.  12WBT has given me the tools to create the best version of me.  I've been striving to create the best version of me for 18 months. Am I there yet? Who knows.

I usually write a blog post in an hour as its just a spur of the moment thing where I want to capture my thoughts in text.  I've been writing this blog for over a month. I keep getting  new information and i then try to focus on those different angles.  My thoughts were getting pretty complex and it was just making it difficult to write anything that made sense.  I was trying to do research to find answers on what is "normal" but that was just a whole lot more complicated than I expected.  My day to day life was reflecting this complicated word and it was tough for me.

 Definitions of Normal
 - conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; regular; natural.
 - the standard or common type.
 - the average or mean.
 - usual or ordinary.

Those definitions are just open to interpretation and non specific.  Is my ultimate goal to be non-specific??  No, I'm organised, goal-orientated, colour-coded, quirky and a get-it-done girl.  So why do I want to be normal?

I asked my training buddies across Australia (we call ourselves Pirates) for information on their heights and weights as they are all "normal" size to me and I love the support group we have formed.  They are like minded people, give high fives when they are due and also give the facts for reality checks when we need them too.  Thirty five Pirates submitted their details.  Their heights and weights range from 155cm and 43kg to 178cm and 81kg.  Their BMIs range from 18 to 26.  Their clothes sizes range from 6 to 12.  All thirty five of them are different.  No one is the same height and weight. These people, like me, are striving to create the best version of themselves.  We have even committed to a bikini photo shoot in November 2012 as a fun goal to keep us on track.

Although i have been strength training since February, I've been training to fatigue for about a month in June 2012.  It felt amazing.  I was increasing my weights every week and at the end of each workout I felt so proud that I worked so hard.  It was empowering and I loved every second of it.

I had a slight set back in late June 2012 that was concerning and I thought it was due to over-training. My specialist assured me I was not making myself worse and I just needed to listen to my body and rest when necessary. It was great to receive this reassurance and breath a sigh of relief.

My set back got me thinking... No matter how muscly or squishy my butt is, am I ever going to think I am normal?  Unlikely.  I will always be critical and striving for perfection.  Well, my mind and body can't take that kind of pressure at the moment, and honestly, I don't want that kind of pressure anymore.  It's draining me trying to be something that I can't even guarantee will make me happy.

I go back to what my definition of normal has always been.  Size 12, confident, and able to just blend in and not be judged on my size.

For the last 8 months I have been a size 10 to 12, I don't stand out or feel like the hugest person in the room and I have finally experienced a glimpse of confidence.  So... I guess I'm normal... but why don't I feel normal?

I believe goal setting is important.  However, it's making me unhappy in the present setting challenging goals, even though I think that when I achieve the goal I will be happy in the future.  I have set and achieved so much yet each time I set another goal I am back at square one striving for excellence rather than enjoying the goal I just achieved. 

My motto for 2011 was going from Yuk to Yay.  In 2012 I began with having the Confidence to Conquer.  I now know that continually Conquering is draining!  So this is what I'm going to try to live by for the next six months and see how I go...

FUEL my body to function
MOVE to feel good

That word "normal" is officially removed from my vocabulary as it did nothing but make me unhappy.  It's time to Just Be.